Criminal Chords by Eminem

[Start]

[Intro]
Em                 Am                             
■  A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions
                           Gbm7 Am                    
A lot of people think that ■    what I say on a record
          Am                    
Or what I talk about on a record
                Em                                     
That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it
Am                                       
■  Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody
                                                      C
That I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it ■
                 B7                             
Well shit if you believe that then I'll kill you
                          Em      
You know why 'Cause I'm a criminal


[Chorus]
C        Em                     
Criminal ■  You're goddamn right
               Dbm            C        Em
I'm a criminal ■   Yeah I'm a criminal ■ 


[Verse]
   Em                                        
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
        Em                                              
That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez
     C                              
Or a homosex hermaph or a transavest
Em                                       
Pants or dress hate fags The answer's yes
Em                                     
Homophobic Nah you're just heterophobic
Em                                              
Starin' at my jeans watchin' my genitals bulgin'
C                                                       
That's my motherfuckin' balls you'd better let go of 'em
Em                                                    
They belong in my scrotum you'll never get hold of 'em
Em                                         
Hey it's me Versace Whoops somebody shot me
                                                     Em  
And I was just checkin' the mail get it Checkin' the male
C                                     
How many records you expectin' to sell
Em                                             
After your second LP sends you directly to jail
        Em                      
Come on relax guy I like gay men
Em                       
Right Ken Give me an amen
C                                 
■ Please Lord this boy needs Jesus
Em                                          
Heal this child help us destroy these demons
Em                                   
Oh and please send me a brand new car
      Em                                             
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
C                                    
Preacher preacher Fifth grade teacher
Em                                     
You can't reach me my mom can't neither
Em                                       
You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'cause
Em                          
I watch TV and Comcast cable
C                                        
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
Em                                         
You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
Em                                            
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
       Em                                    
With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards
C                                   
And to think it's just little ol' me
Em                                 
Mr Don'tGiveaFuck still won't leave
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
           Em                                        
The mother did drugs hard liquor cigarettes and speed
    Em                                       
The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed
       C                                            
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
      Em                                                
Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me
      Em                                        
I'm a criminal an animal caged who turned crazed
Em                                                              
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised
C                                       
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
Em                                            
My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger
                       E7                 
I drank more liquor to fuck you up quicker
     Em                                        
Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word
C                                                   
My morals went *thhbbpp* when the president got oral
Em         C              Em                                     
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk off of his own employee
Em                                    
Now don't ignore me you won't avoid me
    Em                                                         
You can't miss me: I'm white blondehaired and my nose is pointy
    C                                           
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
   Em                                                           
In plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happenin' to him
Em                           
Slim Shady I'm as crazy as Em
     Em              
Inem and Kim combined
         C                                              
In place of the Doctor 'cause Dre couldn't make it today
       Em                                              
He's a little under the weather so I'm takin' his place
E7        Em          E7            
Oh that's Dre with an AK to his face
           Em                                                     
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
  C                                                  
I told you Dre you should've kept that thang put away
  Em                                                   
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it eh
    Em        
I'm a criminal


[Chorus]
              Em  
Melman: Aight look
Em           
Eminem: Uhhuh
                C                                             Em                             
Melman: Just go up in that motherfucker get the motherfuckin' money and get the fuck up outta
     
there
        Em   
Eminem: Aight
                      Em                 
Melman: I'll be right here waitin' on you
Em           
Eminem: Aight
             
Melman: Yo Em
            
Eminem: What
                                   
Melman: Don't kill nobody this time
                                                                    
Eminem: Awwright goddamn this motherfucker gets on my fuckin' nerves
                           
{*whistling*} How you doin'
                   C7 Em           
Teller: Hi how can ■  ■  I help you
C                                       
Eminem: Yeah I need to make a withdrawal
C           
Teller: Okay
Em                                                                 
Eminem: Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch and I won't kill you
                             Em     
Teller: What Oh my God don't kill me
            Em                                          
Eminem: I'm not gonna kill you bitch quit lookin' around
C                                                            
Teller: Don't kill me I've got two kids at home don't kill me


[Verse]
C                                            
Eminem: I said I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you
Em                   
Teller: Don't kill me
                          Em                   
Eminem: Hurry the fuck up {*Gunshot*} Thank you
        Em                                  
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
                                      C7        
So when I rob a bank run out and just dive in it
                           C                        
So I'll be disguised in it and if anybody identifies
                Em                   
The guy in it I hide for five minutes
Em                            
Come back shoot the eyewitness
                                           C       
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
C                              
Die bitches bastards brats pets
Em                                           
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
Em                                     
If I ever gave a fuck I'd shave my nuts
Em                                       
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
C                                            
You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough
   Em                                      
To say the stuff I say so just tape it shut
Em                                        
Shit half the shit I say I just make it up
   Em                                     
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
C                                         
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
Em                                      
I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one


[Chorus]
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
      Em      
I'm a criminal
                                                            Em   
'cause every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
                                            C       
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal
                                             Em  
I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird
         Em                                 
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
      Em      
I'm a criminal


[End]